"Peace I Leave With You"

Thursday, October 27
Tonight the world lost an earthly angel.  My mom fought like a girl up until the very end.  She fought this battle with courage, compassion, love, strength, humor and grace-just like she lived this earthly life.  If she had to leave, as a family we are glad that she didn't have to suffer.  As a family we did everything possible to help her with this fight.  My dad is amazing.  He has been by her side fighting every step of the way.  As family we gathered in her room.  My dad gave her a special blessing.  She passed away peacefully during it.  We know that she loved us and we loved her more than words can express.  One thing my dad has told us, to help us get through: "Don't ask why--why now, why her"... Instead ask "Why were we so lucky?"  Thank you for loving my mom.  She has felt your love, faith and prayers.  They have lifted her spirits and strengthened her throughout this fight.  I know that she will continue to love, lift, and support all of us as we go through this life and will greet us with her infectious smile and a big hug when that time comes. 

*There will be a viewing on Sunday night (October 30) at Allen-Hall Mortuary in Logan and her funeral will be Monday (October 31) at noon at the Smithfield Stake Center

*I've decided to continue to blog about our family.  The new blog will be journal entries for my mom on behalf of her grandkids entitled "Dear Grandma".  The blog address is grandmakandace.blogspot.com  My mom wouldn't want to miss a thing in the lives of her grandkids.  She was the best grandma ever and I know that she will continue to be.

Sometimes Life Isn't Fair

My mom's health continues to decline.  We met with some doctors and a nurse last night to talk about all the options.  We wanted to be rest assured that we had done everything possible to fight this battle.  All said and done, we have.  Her kidneys have stopped working, we are at the end.  Hospice is coming in to make sure that she is comfortable.  Your prayers and faith have helped us through this.  When we started fighting doctors thought maybe two weeks.  Here we are at five months.  She has been a valiant warrior and know that she will continue to be.  With the faith and prayers of dear family and friends our family will get through this.  Sometimes life isn't fair!

Too Weak For Chemo

Today my mom was supposed to start the "red devil" chemo regiment.  Unfortunately, she was too weak.  It is hard to watch her get weaker by the day.  Dr. Ben Jacob's wasn't sure how her body would react to the new drug so they are waiting for her vitals to improve and her strength to increase.  It is hard knowing that the one thing that may zap this cancer is the one thing that her body can't handle at this time.  She needs this drug to get better, and yet she can't have it.  She is back on her oxygen, not at the level it was originally, but still needs to be back on.  If she is strong enough on Friday, they are going to do a blood transfusion because she is anemic.  She is also a little incoherent.  Not sure what the next few days hold.  Quite a few tears shed today.  When my 5 year old, Justus, asked why I was crying, I told him that my heart hurt because Grandma was sick.  He looked at me without missing a beat and said, "she'll get better."  For now I might need to rely on the pure faith of a sweet, innocent 5 year old.  Not giving up hope, just praying for our miracle.

Updated Plan

After meeting with Dr. Ben Jacob we have a new plan of attack. She will start on a new chemo known as the "red devil". She will do a treatment once every three weeks. Let's hope the "red devil" gives this cancer "hell"! Keep the prayers and faith coming. She will beat this!

CT Results

The results are in. Mixed review. Good news-it hasn't spread to any other organs. Not the best news-it has grown in her uterus and also noticiable difference in her lungs again. My parents are meeting with Dr. Ben Jacob tomorrow afternoon to go over the results and decide on a plan of attack. We know how well the chemo was working originally so hopefully it will get back to work! No more set backs, come on chemo-do your thing! Keep your thoughts and prayers coming her way! Thanks for your support!

Upcoming CT scan

Needless to say it has been a rough few weeks.  As if fighting cancer wasn't hard enough my mom has had to battle about every other random illness/"condition" as well.  She truly is a fighter.  She is worn out physically, emotionally, mentally, BUT she continues to fight and will continue doing so.  After a lifetime of being the caregiver, the roles are currently reversed.  She is ready to get back to "normal" and for this "nightmare" to end.  Since this began our family has enjoyed the highest highs and weathered the lowest lows, taking each new day as it comes.  Thank you for your continued faith, love and prayers.  They truly do keep us going. 

My mom's next CT scan is on Tuesday-she is super excited to "gag" down the banana smoothie :)  We are taking only good news that day!  Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers that all goes well.  Send your love, and good vibes her way!   

Surgery Complete

My mom was able to have the surgery yesterday.  The doctor (Dr. Ryan Larsen) inserted a stent in each kidney so they "stay open".  The stents will stay in for 6-8 weeks.  They are keeping her in the hospital for the next few days so they can monitor her and she can rest and get her strength back.  When they did her blood work today they determined it wasn't where they wanted it so she didn't have chemo today.  The plan is to do chemo on Friday.  They will keep her in the hospital until Friday, then if all goes well she can get her chemo and come home.  Dr. Ben Jacob told my parents that he has enough of her original chemo to take her through the rest of her treatments (through December).  This is definitely good news.  We are ready to get back on track with the chemo so it can kill off all the cancer!  They are still planning on another MRI in 3 weeks to see what is going on.  Prayers said and fingers crossed that the cancer stays contained--AND shrinking!  Come on chemo--do your thing! 

Gall Stones, Blood Clot, Hydronephrosis, OH MY!!!

Today my mom went in for more testing to try and determine why she has been feeling so "rotten".  They did a pelvic/abdominal ultrasound to see what was going on.  Here are the results:  Gall Stones, and Hydronephrosis (blockage between ureter and kidney).  While they had the ultrasound machine they used it on her left arm and found that she has a rather large blood clot.  I guess when it rains it pours!  I told her that she is getting every possible illness out of the way so she will have nothing but a clean bill of health!  Treatment will include:  outpatient surgery to remove the blockage between the kidney and ureter (ASAP) and medicine to "dissolve" the blood clot. 
They also put her on a medicine to increase her appetite.  My dad had to go to 4 different pharmacies to find it.  Luckily Walmart had it, only because it was a cancelled order. 
On the bright side, the ultrasound showed that things had "remained the same".  No new tumors anywhere.  She starts back on her regular chemo Wednesday.  After 3 weeks they will do another full body MRI to make sure that everything is "back on track".  My mom is "super excited" to drink the lovely "banana smoothie" again.  Thank you for your continued support, faith and prayers.  We are so blessed!
Tomorrow is a new day. 

Rough Few Days

We are ecstatic with the Bone Scan Results!  Always reassuring to get "good news".  The past few days have been a little rough for my mom.  She has been very nauseated.  She has had a hard time eating.  It all kind of came about when they switched her chemo medication.  Now in her folder there is a note that states that she cannot be given that type again.  Luckily they got her original medication back in stock so she was able to have that last Wednesday.  Now we can get back on track!  She does have this week off of chemo.  Hopefully this will give her body time to adjust and "get back on schedule".  They have been giving her fluids and medication to help with the nausea.  Today is a new day--hopefully the nausea will go away. 

In addition she has experienced the side effects of radiation--tired and burned skin.  Recent side effet--"clogged ears".  I guess on a "good note"--with side effects like these, we know the radiation is still working.

Thanks for your continued love, prayers, faith, and support!  Keep up the good work!

Bone Scan Results

My mom just called with the results from her bone scan.  Results are in:  EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD!!! The cancer has  NOT traveled to her bones!!!  Thankful for good news, "peace of mind" and daily miracles.

Happy Grandparents Day

Happy Grandparents Day to the BEST grandma and grandpa in the whole entire world!  WE LOVE YOU!!!

Bone Scan

On Monday, September 12 my mom will have a bone scan to see if the cancer has traveled to her bones.  This is the one test that hasn't been performed so Dr. Ben Jacob wants to do the test for "peace of mind".  As my mom said, "No more bad news".  This past week at chemo she was informed that they were currently out of the chemo medication that she has been using (I know, how can they run out of something like that--we ask ourselves that daily!).  She had to sign a waiver so she could be given a different kind until hers comes in (not the doctors/hospitals fault--pharmaceutical companies!).  They are hoping for a shipment to arrive this week.  We know how well the medication is working for her so hopefully this week she can go back to her "routine".  My mom continues to fight the daily battle.  Some days are better than others--we cherish the good days.  They help us through the "bad".  Thank you for your continued love, faith, hope and prayers.  Fingers crossed and prayers said that Monday's test results are good news only and her chemo schedule gets back on track!

Baby Jett arrived this morning!

8# 5oz, 20in, jet black hair, born 12:45 am, Sept 4. I can't wipe the smile off my face! Jett and Natty are doing well. She is 2 weeks early, but we are not surprised since all Nats children came early. We love you so much and we are so happy for you. Going to hold my Grandbaby this afternoon, can't wait!
I'd like to briefly share what I know regarding my treatments, etc, through Dec. I'd like to thank my BATC family for great advice on applying for long term disability. It's the right decision and I don't have to worry about it at this point, so thank you! I've given myself one year to heal. If I am able to get back to work soonner than that, it will be a bonus. I still love my job and those I work with and that is my goal. My chemo will continue through Dec and then a CT scan to know the progress. An MRI will be done in 2 months to follow the progress of radiation. On Sept. 12, I have a bone scan scheduled. I am worried about this. I told Dr. Ben Jacob that I could not have more bad news so he said that we will do the scan for "peace of mind!"
The day to day battle continues. Thank you all for your love, support and faith. For now we will find joy with a new baby and the three sons that will welcome Jett. And more joy to follow when Monica has a little boy this January to add to their 2 little girls. We are so blessed!

Radiation completed!

Just walking thru the door from the Cancer Center where I finished my last radiation treatment. Jill and Matt, my radiation team, were marvelous, competent, respectful, and kind. Thank you to them for making these last 15 days, "good days!" After radiation I had my 8th chemo session. Went well but I am tired and plan to nap. I'm glad to get started back on chemo to keep progressing and tell these tumors to "take a hike." My chemo treatments will now end (hoping) in December. I'm now on the every Wednesday schedule, 3 in a row and one off, to let your body and blood rejuvenate.
I'm still wondering how I'm going to fill my time. Mom thinks I should take in laundry! Before anyone brings over laundry, please call first, I'm not loving the idea!

Happy 90th birthday Mom!

90 years of birthdays marks this day for my mom, and I would love to honor her and wish her the best 90th birthday. She shows up every day to sit with me and I know some days she has better things to do, yet she comes and smiles and stays. I'd like to believe that my role is that of caregiver but my whole family, friends, and neighbors have surpassed me in me own chosen role. I feel so blessed.
My brain radiation will be completed on Wed, Aug 31. On that same day I will start back on chemo. I'm still holding on to a few strands of hair-I'm keeping it, my decision, for now anyway.
I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends this weekend in celebration of moms birthday. She invited 90 guests to her 90th. Sounds appropriate. Natalie has taken the reigns and organized it. Nat, I will be in charge of mom's 91st!
Thanks to all for your continued love, support, and prayers. I draw great strength from you. The YSA 1st ward surprised me last night with a precious quilt. It was a great night to visit and enjoy each others company. The official "no visitors" sign is down. Please come visit. You will bring me joy and my smiles getting a bit rusty!
One more thought, summer is officially over. Jaxon, I wish you the best as you start second grade! And a "happy birthday" to Monica. A shared birthday with mom!

"What Do You See"

Lately my mom has been asking us (our family), "What do you see when you look at me?"  My answer:  "I still see my mom."  My boys will simply answer, "Grandma". 

Hair or no hair :) I still see beautiful blue eyes and a smile that lights up a room.

Thinking deeper, I see my hero. I see strength, faith, compassion, courage,  determination, and hope.  I see stubbornness, sarcasm :) wit, curiosity, love, and empathy.

I see a FIGHTER, a SURVIVOR, and a BRIGHT FUTURE. 

My question now to you, "What do you see when you look at my mom?"  Please leave a comment and let her know, or send her a note.  She appreciates your faith, prayers and support more than words can express.

Speed Bump

It is hard to enjoy AMAZING news, then be delivered bad news the following week.  We are all elated with how well the chemo is working for my mom.  She is handling it well.  That is why we were surprised at the turn.  She started experiencing migraines (severe), and numbness in her left side.  At first we all thought-side effects of chemo.  Last Thursday night she went to the emergency room in Logan because she had a partial seizure.  Luckily we were able to get a hold of Dave Reese (thanks Jackie) and he raced to the ER (starting his shift really early--THANK YOU) to take care of my mom.  It was nice to have a doctor there that knew the situation so we didn't have to re-explain it to everyone.  He decided to do a CT scan of her brain (haven't yet done one throughout this whole ordeal--no symptoms).  The results were not what we expected to hear after our "good news".  The CT scan showed that the cancer has traveled to her brain--showing roughly 11 lesions, the biggest being 12 mm.  As my mom said, it is like taking one step forward then two steps back.

They transported my mom to Huntsman to meet with some specialists to come up with a plan of attack.  She had to ride in an ambulance (precautionary)--I know she was thrilled, and my dad followed them there.  I am told the facility at Huntsman is unreal (her room was donated by Karl Malone) and the staff is unbelievable, optimistic, and welcoming.  It was good for my mom to be in that type of environment.  After spending the night, the specialists met and determined that they would start 15 rounds of whole brain radiation on my mom.  They said this is a 100% guarantee that it will kill off the cancer in her brain.  Extremely positive and reassuring.  Dr. Ben Jacob in Logan was in the same mind set, so that is the plan of attack.

They released my mom on Friday.  On the way home her and my dad stopped at McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden and she had her 1st radiation treatment (lasted about 15 minutes start to finish), after which they came home.  She had her 2nd treatment in Logan, Saturday morning.  So, 2 down, 13 to go.  From what my dad was told, this is actually quite common.  There  is a blood-brain barrier so the chemo doesn't affect the brain.  We know that it is working in her body.  The doctors are going to  focus on the brain these next few weeks, then resume chemo treatments.  So a speed bump has been placed before us.  We appreciate your love, support, faith, and prayers.  They keep us going.  Please keep up the good work!

3rd Round of Chemo

Yesterday my mom started her third round of chemo (1 round = 3 weeks/once a week for about 4 hours).  We are all still elated at the progress revealed with the last CT scan.  The last few months have been filled with many ups and downs.  We are grateful for the faith, prayers and support of so many on behalf of my mom and our family.  She did say that this round started off a little rough.  Some of the  side effects include migraines, "chemo brain", dizziness, fatigue, and numbness in limbs.  It definitely is a day to day battle.  Looking at how  far she has come is amazing.  That is what we focus on.  Thank you for your continued love, support, faith, and prayers.  Knowing that we have so many on our side is reassuring.  This is a battle that will be won!

Happy day

This morning was my CT scan to see the progress of the chemo. Dr. Reese came with Randy and I to the appointment-I can't thank him enough! I've worried about this for days, even though family and friends remained steadfast that all would be well. I have great news to share. The CT of my lungs showed "dramatic favorable response." This news brought me to tears. Dr. Ben Jacob said that the original CT scan compared to this morning's scan does not look like it could belong to the same person! The endometrial cancer report shows "much less prominent." Thank you, thank you for your love, support, and prayers. One milestone reached, many to go. I appreciate your continued love, support, and prayers! Today is a happy day!

Happy Birthday Bo

Today is Bo's 24th birthday.  One thing that many are interested to learn about Bo--his real name is Derek Ferris Oldroyd.  I don't remember the last time anyone has called him Derek:)  Bo has been my mom's "guard dog" throughout this experience--never leaving her side!  He is amazing and a wonderful part of our family!  We love you Bo!  Enjoy your day!

Chemo in the chair #6

I hope this doesn't ramble on. As you can see it's 3:30am, it's called, "nighttime effects of cancer-don't plan on sleeping!" Anyway that may be my personal effect. It's always a learning experience when you go to your chemo appt. You're in a large room with 12 other patients, all sitting in comfy lounge chairs arranged in a semi-circle, very close together. You can truly reach out and touch your neighbor! Each patient is plugged in to their specific medications.

I've been in this large room 3 times now. No one has puked, or the more correct word, vomited, or dry heaved. This was my biggest misconception about chemotherapy, I just assumed everyone would be so sick and vomiting. The semi-circle setting would be a poor arrangement indeed if that were the case!

My visits take 4 hours from start to finish (what to do in a lounge chair for 4 hours)? My last 2 visits I decided to get to know my neighbors and other semicircle participants, soon to be called friends. Everyone has their unique story. I used to feel sad, maybe even pity looking at a woman who had lost her hair because I assumed they must be in cancer treatment. Now my thoughts and actions will be to congratulate her for being a brave fighter in a battle that no one would enlist in.

Next Wed., Aug.3 is my CT scan to see what the treatment has done during the past 6 weeks. I will tell you that I am already anxious about this procedure, even though I know it will do no good to worry because I cannot change the outcome. Please know that I have felt your support, love, and prayers. 

I did ramble, sorry. Please know I've gained much strength from your comments.

3rd South Family

I know we say this a lot, but our family has been truly blessed with amazing friends/family.  We have an awesome support system.  One group that has stuck together through thick and thin is our "3rd South Family".  When I was in 1st grade--many, many years ago:) my family built a house on 3rd South in Smithfield.  I believe that I had the "perfect" childhood growing up, surrounded by a a street full of loving neighbors that became our second family.  Two such neighbors have been "a part" of my family for as long as I can remember.  We have seen it all.  It is nice to know that someone always has your back.  Without asking, they innately know what to do and what is needed.  When one neighbor moved away, the other 2 weren't far behind.  Our three families remain neighbors to this day.  Kenny, Jackie & Family and Marlys & Family--THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! for taking care of my parents!  I don't think that you will ever truly understand the immense love we have for you!  I know my mom and dad appreciate and love you all more than you'll ever know.  Thank you for supporting them and all of us during this trial.  Without you, I don't know what we as a family would do!  We love you!!!

Walking in my sleep

I Know that i need to get Stronger, my body feels weak, so I wore my pedometer yesterday to get a baseline of my daily steps. I looked at the number 1616 late in the evening. At 3:00a.m. I woke up and realized that I was still wearing the pedometer which now read 1710. Yeah! I walked almost 100 steps in my sleep.
This is a far cry from the 10000 steps that I put in routinely during Feb-Apr during what I will call, "Get moving, you are going to Hawaii." (thank you to the Egberts for a wonderful vacation.) My weak showing yesterday tells me my body is a bit broken, yet I am determined to increase my activity each day and at the end of some future day read 10000 steps. That will be a happy day!
Happy 24th everyone. Again, thank you for your support, love and prayers. I can't imagine being on this journey without you. I am truly blessed!

5th Chemo

Wednesday, July 20
Today my mom had her 5th chemo treatment.  She seems to be handling everything fairly well.  She continues to get stronger everyday.  We never thought this is how we would be spending our summer vacation.  Crazy how life just happens.  We continue to learn numerous lessons from this experience.  Thank you for your continued love, prayers and support.  They are definitely helping!

Thanks to my BATC dept/family

I Must thank my dept/friends at BATC for all they've done. When you work everyday with the same people, they become your second family. We share secrets, triumphs, and challenges. We care about each other and each other's families. We easily spend more time with our second family than with our real family. And so it is that I need you to know that I appreciate all that you have done since June 5, the day that I started my leave. I wish I had something humorous to add but I'm actually feeling melancholy, just wishing I was there. This is like the summer vacation that you don't want! Day by day, right. Love you all!

Precious quilt

I received a most precious gift today-a beautiful quilt signed by friends and family. We have serious, even professional quilters in our ward but this was quite the project. I thank everyone involved from signing your names, piecing the quilt, and the actual sewing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will always treasure this gift. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record but I am so overwhelmed at the kindness and generosity of others. It feels so different to be on the receiving end of everyone's goodness. Right now all I can do is embrace it. Please know how grateful and blessed we are.

Time for a tissue or two. Love you all. Thanks for your continued support and prayers.

"Wiggin' Out"

Thursday, July 14
Once a week someone from the American Cancer Society comes to the Logan Cancer Center and brings wigs, scarves, etc.  My mom went with April and my Grandma Ruby to find a wig.  (With this group, can you imagine the fun they had!)  Initially she was under the impression that she would be borrowing a wig.  When they got there the representative from the ACS told them that they give cancer patients one free wig along with some scarves, a sleeping hat and a portfolio to keep track of EVERYTHING.  They had quite a selection of wigs.  She found one that she liked.  April is going to do a little tweaking to it to make it perfect.  They were there trying things on for about two hours.  What a great service to provide for cancer patients.  Thank you for your kindness.

*Thanks to April for helping my mom through this.  We love you!

#4 Chemo History

Saying "goodbye" to #4 chemo makes me happy! One more done. I went to the tmt without any O2 and held my own. Thanks to faith, prayers, hope, and good medical care, I seem to be taking some steps in the right direction. So again, thank you for staying with me on this journey.
Mike and Kathy Christiansen came to my chemo or kimo tmt. Mike played his guitar for all os, asked for requests, even composed a song he titled,The Chemo Blues, that made all of us smile. Thank you for sharing your time and talents. Thanks also to Dave for checking in on me.
Tomorrow I m going to Logan to try on wigs. Did I just say that--wigs, cancer, chemo? I'mnot in denial, but there are many moments that I still grieve my pre-cancer life.
Another silly memory from my hospital stay. I was on the medical floor and luckily there was a nurse working who could administer my 2nd chemo tmt. She walked in a head to toe yellow plastic suit and left the two chemo bags near my bed. She leaned over to me and said, "now don't lick these bags!" A strange voice in my head said, grab those bags and give them a lick, but a louder,wiser voice said, don't you dare. I'm glad this day is coming to an end. Good night to all!

Another Round of Chemo

After a week off, my mom started another round of chemo today.  She wore her "Fight Like A Girl" hat that Bo got for her.  She had her make-up on and was ready to go.  Bo took her to her appointment.  She was supposed to start at 1:00, but wasn't able to start her treatment until 2:00 because there were so many people "getting" chemo as well.  Crazy and sad to think that the new cancer center in Logan is one of the busiest places in town.  Makes you appreciate your health.  My dad went and checked on her after he got off work at 3:30.   They got home about 5:30.  Some of the patients were impressed by my dad's legs :)  (He usually gets a few comments)

Her treatment went well.  Her neighbor, Mike Christiansen, volunteered to go and play his guitar for the patients while they received chemo.  Thank you to him (and his wife Kathy), it was a nice "distraction".

She continues to get stronger everyday.  Tomorrow she is going to check out some wigs.  She will have two more treatments (1 a week) and then they will do another CT scan to see what is going on.  She is amazing!  I'm grateful for her example and courage.  I love you mom!

How could I leave out my mom?

My soon to be 90 yr old mom has been my personal caregiver, visitor guard, phone fetcher, breakfast and lunch preparer and a million other things. I love her so much. Others have offered to give her a break and I so appreciate I can call on you. Here's a little secret, mom checks out or takes the caregiver break each weekday at 1:30 to watch Bold and Beautiful! That was a big surprise to me.

Lessons I've learned

I realize we all have our own "comfort zone" because we are all unique individuals. While in the hospital, I was asked certain questions that were not even close to my "comfort zone!" what happened to the "think before you speak" advice we've all learned?
Here is my list of "don't ask!" most coming from strangers because if you are my friend I may want to share.
Are the doctors optimistic? (no, I'm just going to battle for the fun of it.)
When do they say your hair will fall out?
How long do they give you? (please, never take away someones hope)
What stage is your cancer?
My sister just died from ovarian cancer. (I'm sorry for your sister but how did that comment keep me positive.)
I know there are more, These just made the top of my hospital memory list.
Just a side note. I was searching for these jeans without any luck. Just happened to ask Randy if he knew where they were. He said and I smile, "yes, they are in the back of my car. I was certain you would be coming home on day 2. That's one reason I love that man. He has made many sacrifices, many, many. He is such a positive force in my life and I love him so much. You all know I have a beautiful daughter, Natty. I also have three wonderful sons who were by my side in my darkest hours. I draw strength from each of them, Nick, Brady, and Bo! Nat's husband Daniel, Nick's wife Monica and 5, soon to be 7, grandchildren: Jaxon, Justus, Addi, Jace, and Izzi.
Sorry, this rambles on--look at the time, just couldn't sleep. Thank you for your positive influence in my life. I feel truly blessed.

Successful Surgery

Monday, July 11
The "chemo port" is officially in.  The surgery went well.  My parents got to the hospital at 6:15 A.M.  Surgery started at 7:30 A.M. and they were home by 9:30 A.M.  Doing well, feeling good.  Her oxygen levels have been great today.  So good in fact she hasn't had to use the oxygen tank at all today:)  Getting stronger everyday.  Another round of chemo starts on Wednesday.  Hair is falling out.  My mom has decided that she will definitely be a "wig" person.  Doesn't think she can adapt to the hats and scarves.  My boys and I are are trying to convince her to try a variety of wig colors--they want red, but grandma insists on staying blonde:)  Now for wig shopping.  Any suggestions?

Laziest

There was an evening of comedy in TCU. This unit has their own physical therapists who stand in your doorway twice a day and encourage you to get up and walk with their help. I understand the importance of moving, yet the PTs timing could not have been worse one day and I declined. Randy, Bo and I were looking at the whiteboard in my room, trying to read the word written by PT. The word was written with all letters very close together. We decided it read,"laziest." oh great, I had the title of the laziest patient in TCU. We all agreed that the word written was not the correct spelling of laziest yet we stayed convinced. The next morning when I got up and closer to the board, I was happy to read, 1assist, meaning I needed one person to assist me when I got up. Yeah! I wasn't the laziest pt in TCU.

One Week

My mom has been home for one week.  She continually gets stronger and more "restless"  everyday.  It is so nice to have her home.  Thank you to everyone for providing meals and sending faith and prayers her way.  Believe me, they are definitely helping.  She continues to draw from your faith and support.  Yesterday she had a pre-op visit for the "chemo port" they will be implanting on Monday.  I have been battling a cold, my dad was at work, so my sweet husband Daniel took her to the appointment.  I'm told there were a few tears shed, but plenty of good old laughter!!!  She goes in for surgery on Monday at 6:15 A.M.  It is an outpatient procedure so she will be home later that day. 
Again, thank you for your love and support.  We are extremely blessed!

July 7

No chemo this week.  Will start three more weeks next Wednesday.  After that, another CT scan to see what is going on.  Fingers crossed, prayers said that the cancer remains "contained" and shrinking.  Continuing to get stronger.  Had a Dr. appointment yesterday to draw blood.  Went fairly well.  My mom was told that she could start decreasing her "dependence" on the oxygen--continually turning down that dial (currently at a 2, when in ICU was all the way up to 13--daily miracles!) and getting rid of it all together--YEAH!  Must be making some progress with the lungs.  Tomorrow she has a pre-op appointment.  She is getting a "chemo port" implanted on Monday--out patient surgery.  Getting stronger day by day.  Thank you for your prayers and support--they are helping more than you'll ever know!

My Grandma is a SUPERHERO

Keep fighting hard grandma!  You are our superhero.  We have lots of fun adventures planned.  WE LOVE YOU!!! (Jaxon, Justus, Jace)

July 5

Randy vacuums the hair off me several times a day. Time for action and cut it. April. Came and cried with me, why is this part compared to everything else so hard. Well, some hair survived the shampoo and I now have a short cut. Like April said, when we need to go shorter we will.

July. 4

Can't believe it is July 4. Natty is so much better at putting thoughts and words together
Than i am. I thank her so much for all she does for me. Randy and I had date night watching fireworks on tv. Believe me a first for both of us. It's nice to be home. Thank you for prayers, love and support. I feel it and I may need to borrow from others for a while. Simply am amazed aT generosity. Thank you.

Addition to spa day post

My mom told me to add one shout out to spa day. Thank you to Diane Merrill for sitting with her and giving her a nice foot massage. Extremely nice and as my mom said "above and beyond"

One Month

Sunday, July 3
One month ago today, our lives took a drastic detour.  It is amazing everything that can happen in just one month.  This month has made us appreciate:
HEALTH
STRENGTH
FRIENDS
FAMILY
EVERYDAY LIFE
It is amazing how you learn to appreciate the ongoings of day to day life when you actually stop to enjoy them and not get caught up in a routine.  This definitely is a day to day battle, but when you recognize the miracles along the way and have the help and strength of good friends and family cheering you on, knowing you aren't alone, anything is possible.  Thank you for your faith and prayers.

Home Sweet Home

After 21 days in the hospital, my mom got to come home today!  Hard to believe that it has been three weeks.  She is getting stronger everyday.  She came home with oxygen, but no antibiotics.  She is moving around better, getting strength back, improving everyday.  Because she is fighting so hard and improving, the doctor said: "No visitors."  We don't want her to go back to the hospital.  The last x-ray remained "stable."  Good news.  We think it has to be somewhat "improved", because she is doing so much better.  Thank you everyone for your faith and prayers. We are so grateful and blessed!

Today truly is a miracle.  Seeing her these past few weeks, it is amazing how far she has come.  She has gone from ICU to Medical Care to Transition Care all in 21 days.  Crazy how life gets turned around.  I'm learning to appreciate and look for daily miracles (today being one!).  It is by "small" day to day miracles that my mom WILL WIN this fight.  I need to remember to not overlook them.  I love you mom!!!

Spa Day

Thursday, June 30

My mom keeps getting stronger and stronger.  Oxygen levels keep improving.  Infections under control.  Starting to actually feel "a little better".  Thank you April and Sherisse for pampering my mom today!  Hair done, nails done!  Just what the doctor ordered.  Chest x-ray tomorrow.  Fingers crossed, prayers said, verdict will be: "improving".

Third Chemo Treatment

Wednesday, June 29
Third chemo treatment.  My mom and dad went to the new cancer treatment facility this time.  First time out of the hospital in 18 days.  Seem to be handling it fairly well.  Oxygen level is improving.  Starting to eat better, getting some strength back.  Actually starting to feel "a little better".  Dr. Ben-Jacob told her that she was going to be the "poster child" for recovery.  She truly is a superhero!!!  It is a day to day battle, gotta keep "fighting like a girl".

Transitional Care Unit

Thursday, June 23
Moved into Transitional Care Unit (TCU).  Another milestone.  One step closer to going home.  Starting to feel slight improvements.  Sick and tired of being in the hospital.  More x-rays reveal "stable", some doctors even argue that they look better--What we all needed to hear!

2nd Chemo Treatment

Wednesday, June 23
Second chemo treatment.  Similar to the first.  She seems to be handling it fairly well.  Waiting.

Medical Unit

Tuesday, June 21
Moving from ICU to the medical unit.  One milestone reached.  Nurses in ICU were amazing.  The medical unit nurses have a lot to live up too.  Still holding stable.  At least not getting worse.

Stable

Friday, June 17
Another x-ray to determine if chemo has done anything.  Radiologist confirms, "Stable, no change."  Good that it hasn't progressed anymore.  Frustrated, waiting for results.  When will she start feeling better?  Still in ICU.  Learning this will be a day by day journey.  Reminded by Dr. Ben-Jacob that it will take some time, need to be patient.  With endometrial cancer sometimes the chemo takes a while to "kick in".  Fingers crossed, prayers said, that the chemo starts "doing its job".

1st Day of Chemo

Wednesday, June 15
Let it begin.  First day of chemo.  Anxious, nervous, ready to fight.  Turns out to be not as bad as anticipated.  She actually slept through the chemo.  All right chemo, do your thing!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Tuesday, June 14
Oncologist--Dr. Ben-Jacob coming in later today (has been out of town over the weekend).  Our plan as of last week-Fight.  Today the hospitalist in the ICU talked to my mom and dad about everything that has transpired since June 3.  A new chest x-ray revealed that the lesions in her lungs had increased in that short amount of time, WHAT?  Diagnosis:  "Too numerous to count".  He doesn't know if her lungs will hold out long enough for the chemo to kick in or what will happen.  Possibly too many "what ifs".  

Option 1: go home with hospice and be as comfortable as possible for the next few weeks.  Is that even an option?  Family gathers in hospital room.  Kids say fight.  Hospitalist comes back into room.

Option 2:  He called Huntsman was told about "experimental treatments--not as severe".  Think out loud as a family. My mom says, "All I want is someone smarter than me to tell me what to do."  Hospitalist comes back into the room.  

Option 3: He just got off the phone with three specialists at Hunstman who were reviewing her case.  All three of them concur:  She is 56, she can beat this, keep her there, start the chemo.  She needs to Fight!  Fight!  Fight!  An answer to her/our prayers.  They agree with everything Dr. Ben-Jacob originally suggested.  Let the fight begin!

Another Detour

Sunday, June 12
Mom not feeling good at all.  Mentally, emotionally, physically drained.  Getting harder to breathe.  Feeling tired, drained, anxious.  Bone scan scheduled for tomorrow to determine if cancer has spread to her bones. We're told not likely, but the doctor is taking every precaution.  As the day goes she is feeling worse.  My dad called Dave.  He came to check on her.  He said:  "Time to go to the Emergency Room."  Doctors orders, she went.  They ran more tests.  Found out she had an infection.  Admitted to the ICU.  Everything is happening so fast!
(Later learned that she probably wouldn't have made it through the night if she hadn't gone to the hospital--thankful for earthly angels!!!)

Angels Among Us

As a family we are blessed to have loving family and friends.  Throughout this ordeal many angels among us have been revealed.  One such angel:  Dave Reese (good family friend and ER doctor).  He has volunteered to go to doctor appointments with my mom and dad.  I don't think he will ever truly understand what this has meant to our family.   At a time when everything is uncertain, and confusing, he has been a shoulder to lean on for advise, comfort, and reassurance.  Thank you doesn't seem adequate enough to express our sincere heartfelt gratitude towards you Dave.  Thank you also for numerous angels in our lives.  We love you!   We are so blessed!

Blessed

Friday, June 10
Hard to believe that it has been a week.  In one week (7 days; 168 hours; 10,080 minutes) our world has changed.  A major detour placed before us.  Life happens.  So blessed and grateful for the outpouring of love, support, faith, hope, friendship, and genuine concern given to us throughout this past week.  We are truly blessed.  Thank You!

Testing Begins

Monday, June 6
Testing begins.  Have to wait until 4:45 P.M.  Doctors decided to do a thyroid scan first to rule out thyroid cancer.  Results show thyroid and adjacent lymph nodes look clear.  Good news.
 
Tuesday, June 7
Day 2 of testing.  Uterine biopsy.  Also decide to do a thyroid biopsy to be "safe".  Doctors put a rush on the samples.  Waiting for results.

Wednesday, June 8
Results are in.  Thyroid biopsy clear.  Uterine biopsy reveals cancer.  Worst fears confirmed.  Diagnosis:  Endometrial Cancer.  More tests tomorrow.

Thursday, June 9
Body scan.  She gagged down the banana flavored drink.  Waiting to see where else cancer has spread.  Scan shows that cancer has metastasized to lungs and uterus.  Other organs and lymph nodes look clear.  "Good News" .  Mind set:  Start Fighting!!!

June 3: The Beginning

Today started out like any other day!  The first official day of summer vacation.  Who would have thought, waking up in the morning what a drastic change life was about to take.  My mom went in for an x-ray to figure out why she couldn't get rid of a RECENT cough.  At 5:00 P.M. the doctor called and told her she had the results from her x-ray.  She was told to bring support--not a good sign.  My dad was at work.  Jace and I went with her.  The results revealed numerous lesions in her lungs.  Possible cancer, didn't know the source.  For a minute the world stopped.  What next?  Of course it was the weekend, had to wait til Monday for further testing.  Longest weekend ever!  Mind wandering:  When? Where?  Why?  How?  She had done ALL the screenings you are "supposed" to do.  All came back clear.  What is going on!!